How to deal

I spent years with a heart of ice.

Numb to all feeling.

Laughing at the moments in life that made others cry.

Thinking it was for weaker men.

Only to thaw out years of emotion.

To feel every one

To feel human, in all my perfections

Embracing emotion, grateful that I am capable to feel.

Wondering why I ran from them, why the need to suppress them?

Only to realize that at that moment oh so long ago, I was doing the best I could, with what I had.

Its how I survived, it was a tool.

Now I am better equipped to deal with the wide array of emotions. 

Even though at moments I still feel like I can’t deal. 

I remind myself that it’s ok.