Continued...(June.10.2012)
So I hope I have painted a
vivid picture for you. This is the way I use to be. Life after drinking was hard to say the least! The first 365 days were about staying sober period.
The second year was to learn how to live on life’s terms, and let me tell you life’s
a bitch sometimes.
My whole life I shuttered
at any type of responsibility or consequences. I think as alcoholics we
naturally are like that. We dont like people telling us what to do. As I soon
realized that a lot of times in life you do many things that you dont want to
do.
So in sobriety we have to
let someone else guide us, that’s why we have sponsors, there not our friends,
or our therapists, they are simply there to take us through the 12 steps that’s
it!! Oh and on a side note woman stick with woman and men stick with men.
Anger, relationships and
resentment are the #1 killers for us. So you need a sponsor that’s gonna call
you on your bullshit, who wont aid in your own self indulged pity party’s. It
was our own self-will-run-riot that got us here (to alcoholics anonymous) so if
we think that our own thinking is gonna get us out of the situation. WE ARE
DEAD WRONG! We also like to think that we/our story is unique that our pain is
special, but The Big Book tells us that it is not the case. However we all have
something in common, we have a disease that wants us dead; we are allergic to
the poison that the layman calls Alcohol.
But after I had multiple
years my program has changes dramatically. I don’t go to many meetings. I don’t
have a sponsor and I haven’t done the steps in 2 years.
Now to people in the
program this may raise red flags. I believe that you need to have some pressing
matter in which to do the steps, things you have to work on or things that are
eating away at you. I have been sober now for 4.5 years in July of 2012 it will
be 5 years. So I have had plenty of times to work on all the stuff I use to
drink over, I did all that was suggested to me, after all the program of A.A is
one of suggestion, if you want to stay sober you do as we do. There is no if,
ands or buts about it. I dont have a sponsor cause the one I had never returned
my calls.
In life, there are moments
where everyone is out of reach whether it is by location or phone call. This is
the truest test of your program; can you make it through the tuff stuff on your
own? I am not insinuating that your trying to do it on your will alone, these
are times when you MUST rely on a power greater than you.
I feel solid in my program,
I am no longer dependent upon A.A I can stand on my two feet, I know when I
have to get my butt to meetings, but fellowship alone wont keep you sober, love
wont keep you sober.
In the first year or two you
are practically a baby, don’t know what the heck your doing, you need direction
and structure.
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