On April, 29,2012 @ 9:45 today my cat poofy fell very ill. It was a sudden onset he upchucked and then preceded to cry & meow. 9:59 I call the emergency animal clinic and told them what was going on. Poofy had now been panting, and seemed very uncomfortable. The nurse at the vet clinic said to bring him in immediately!!! So I put him in our carrier and out we went.
We drove down to Fraser Hwy & Fleetwood Dr. On the drive down I was thinking to myself ‘FUCK! We are going to get into an accident!!” We didn’t, but I just had a feeling as if everything was going to go wrong.
We got there and the lady was asking all these questions, and I was thinking ‘my cat may be dying and your bombarding me with questions?’ Time seemed to be super slow, we finally got in to see the Vet and he asked the same question! So frustrating, so after we got through all the same questions that the frickin vet nurse asked he finally examined him, meanwhile Poofy is suffering and in pain, so he examined Poofy he noticed that Poofy could not feel his back legs at all. So he checked all his vitals and told us that he is paralyzed and that we should put him down. Poor Poofy was crying, panting, and meowing loud. So 20 minutes pass and he finally asked to give him some painkiller. He left the room so we could decide what to do, we just wanted to spend our last moments with him, Poor little Poofy didnt want to be on the table so we put him on the floor and her lied there for a moment and then started to drag himself around with his front legs, it was the saddest most horrible thing I have ever seen, to see my cat in this condition was devastating and at that moment I lost it!! I wanted to leave but I couldn’t I did not want to leave him alone, I thought If I was Poofy I would not want to be left alone.
Later on they asked us if we wanted to put a catheter on him, so they did. He was brought back into the room and we spent more time with him, saying our goodbyes, I felt like I was ready to put him down, I did not want him to suffer any more! So I asked my friend are you ready? We then asked the Vet to come back in and told him we are ready for him to administer the shot.
I put my arm around Poofys head so he could rest his head on my arm, kissed him and pet him, held him, while the Vet put the needle in, Jay had to leave the room which I totally understand. Mean while I can feel Poofy getting, I dont know what you call it, lifeless, lighter, floppy?? Anyways I whispered in his ear, I wont leave you Poofy, your not alone, I love you so much, your going to a better place, I will never forget you, I’m here, and just repeated it over and over again. It was less than 1-3 minutes and he was gone. No longer with us, I didn’t want to leave his little lifeless body. I didn’t want to leave him there on the table, cold and alone, but he was gone and I had to move on and begin my grieving process. Though I just blocked it out I went home and cleaned everything, I packed up all his things, after I cleaned and sanitized everything.
It was 4 am when I finally finished everything; I was so tired, and finally went to bed! Only I could not sleep and when I did, I tossed and turned all night I could not get comfortable. I am so use to doing everything a certain way because I have a cat. You know: don’t close the bathroom door so the cat can use the litter box, don’t leave chocolate on the table its toxic to cats, don’t leave dishes on the coffee table it could make him sick...and on and on.....
I was in bed and lost it again! Never again was I going to see Poofy sleeping on my pillow, never was he going to wake me up in the morning so I would feed him. I cried and cried and cried myself to sleep, followed by crying all morning.
The thing that was weird was the next morning I was up at 10 am went and had lunch with my mum at 12 pm @ White Spot, which was really nice. Then I roamed around the mall for hours just basically distracting myself, and pretty much the whole day I was just putting one step in front of the other. There were definite moments where I felt like I was goin to collapse or faint or cry. But I made it threw the day, and then cried myself to sleep again, every night before bed I cry. Guess thats the way it is :( :(
Dear Poofy,
I loved you with all my heart, I gave you love that I did not even know I had in me. You were my friend; companion a member of my family. I had you since you were a baby kitten all the way up to adulthood. I was there with you to the very end, I gave you the life that any cat would want. You always got what you wanted and were well groomed and always clean. Everyone loved you even if they only met you once. You will forever hold a special place in my heart, and I believe I will be reunited when it is my time, but until then I will live my life, a full life and wait for the moment when my higher power needs me. I truly believe that you get reunited with loved one who have passed away. So that mean I get to see you (Poofy) your brother Spike, my dog Tobi, my father, my grandparents and all the other loved ones who have passed on. Bye bye Poofy I love you <3 :)
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